Anyone who knows me well, (or even a little), knows I’m a serious Type A personality (some would argue Type A+)! We Type As will create structure out of anything because we thrive on creating structure, following processes, establishing timeframes, meeting deadlines and a myriad of other things that typically make us very successful in Corporate America.
As I have learned, these are not good traits when you’re trying to handle depression. (If you’re curious about what led to my depression, please check out my About Me page, here).
When I went on a leave of absence, my therapist warned me I would be tempted to do A LOT of things to replace the time I would usually spend at work. She told me I would want to put my healing on a schedule but to know that wasn’t how it worked.
I knew she was alluding to my Type A+ personality. (I heard her, but I didn’t hear her. You know what I mean?) In my mind, the fact I was on the leave was indication enough that I knew I needed to take time to heal. Surely, I would take that time to heal. Surely.
Before I knew it, I was into some of everything. I was taking an online class, reading 2-3 books (Yes, I’m one of those people! 😊) scheduling blocks of time to meditate, do Aqua Aerobics, learn Aqua Yoga, create beautiful Pinterest worthy meals, studying Food Forestry and more. In my mind, these were all positive things that would help me heal and wasn’t that the point of the time off?
In all honesty, I think in some ways, I thought if I could just get this “healing thing” out of the way in an expedient manner, I could enjoy the rest of the time like a well-deserved, long vacation. It wasn’t until I caught myself being upset with myself because I didn’t think I was making the progress I should make at this point on my (you don’t even have to wait for it, you guessed it,) schedule.
It was at that moment I realized I was doing the very thing my therapist told me I would do. It was that #ahamoment that freed me to stop using all the activity to not deal with the emotions I didn’t want to experience. I knew if I kept busy, I couldn’t make progress. So, I decided to slow down long enough to give myself time to heal. I’ve learned healing is a process not a destination. Therefore, I have to admit, I’m not healed but I’m healing.
I’m extremely grateful for my time off. It gave me the clarity I needed to take on this phase of my journey of #reclaimingmyspirit. I’ve learned to prioritize activities that feed, not drain, my spirit.
If you’re interested in hearing more about something you see, send me an email and I’ll consider blogging about that topic. Also, I love exploring and trying new things so if you know of any #soulfood activities, please share them!
5 thoughts on “What I’m Doing Intro”
Thank for the being a part of my own healing journey
Thank you Saundra! At a time like now, we all need each other! Thank you for being a part of this community.
Congratulation, This website is therapy. Therap that will help many women understand anxiety and what they can do to help themselves. I suffered from anxiety until I read a book called “how to overcome anxiety”. Your website remind me of steps or action I can keep in prospective to keep fear away and prepare for the situation I fear. Thank you and Congratulation again!
Thank you for the feedback Anna! And thank you for sharing a resource that helped you. I’m so honored you’ve chosen to be part of this community!
This is truly essential to the #BlackGirlMagic which in essence is not magic but #BlackWomansReality
My hope is that many Sisters will visit these pages and discover their own Selves, their collective Sisterhood, their vulnerabilities, strengths, pains, joys, fears, courage, and their Healing. Always their Healing. Thank you for sharing your journey with so many others. Thank you for giving Sisters a safe space and a language to share the experiences that never seem safe.